December's newsletter is written by Catherine Cook, MHC. I'll leave her to it.
Happy Holidays!
Dr. Kate
We’re approaching the start of the holiday season and the end of another year and the start of the holiday season. We may be filled with a variety of emotions that range from happiness to sorrow. Workloads may be increasing for some, and children continue to have commitments that take up time and energy. As parents, we get caught up in the rush of everyday life. For some, we feel a pressure to make this season perfect for our children and our families. We want our family to have the best holiday season and school break, with cherished memories packed into a few short days.
I see the sacrifices so many of you make for your children. The love, time and energy that you give your children is evident. And just as you care for their mental health and seek to help them, it is necessary for you to take care of your mental health during this season and throughout the year. My mom taught me a valuable lesson years ago when my kids were small. Every year for Christmas she made the best sticky caramel pecan rolls. Her recipe is intensive and time consuming. I felt I had to do the same because that is what she did. While complaining about all the things I “had” to do, she stopped me and said “I wish I realized how unimportant that was and that I had spent more time with you kids instead.” That struck a chord with me but it still took me time to implement that lesson into my life. And I am grateful I did. I still make rolls, just an easier recipe. I didn’t let tradition die; I found a way to make it work while trying to maintain my sanity. (At least when it comes to sweet rolls.)
Here are some tips to help you find additional balance in your life so that you can more fully enjoy this season.
Accept that you can not do it all. We cannot always have a clean house, folded laundry, a gourmet meal on the table, while helping kids with homework, driving them to their activities and meeting the demands of work. Accept what you are able to do and find peace with where you are today. Let go of the rest and acknowledge that you are doing your best, you did what you could, and that is enough for now.
Is this an expectation I placed on myself? When life becomes overwhelming, ask yourself: are you adding extra pressure for perfection to your plate? And if no one but you are expecting it, can you let this go? If it is a priority, how can you allow others to support you or break down the tasks to make it more manageable?
As much as possible, find balance. There are certain things we want to do because they matter and they also take time. Where you are able, try to adjust so what you are doing brings more balance to your life and your family.
Take breaks. Find quiet moments throughout the day to disconnect from life’s demands, even if only for 5 minutes.
Practice self-care. This can come in all forms: taking a walk, going to the gym, getting a cup of coffee with a friend, eating a piece of chocolate, or reading a book. Do something that brings you pleasure every day. And most importantly, do not apologize for it. You deserve it!
Pause and enjoy the natural moments of joy. Joyful memories can crept up anywhere. If your child invites you to play a game or watch a movie with them, try to do it. The laundry isn’t going anywhere and we know the dishes are endless, and these years are precious. Embrace them. (You’ll still have plenty of laundry and dishes to do later.)
Take a moment for gratitude. Practicing gratitude helps our mental health. Take time with your family, to express gratitude.
Share memories from the year. Create time to share memories from the past year. It is incredible to see what kids say and feel about their lives. And it refocuses us as parents to learn what matters to our children.
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